2004-05-12, 4:37 p.m.

I shower, therefore I am an adult

On Monday morning, Leon fell heavily asleep, enough that I risked taking a shower. It's not that I'm the kind of mom who can't stand to hear her baby cry - far from it. Rarely a day goes by when Leon doesn't have to wail for 10 or 20 minutes while I fold the laundry, make dinner, or complete some other essential task. I have even left him alone for half an hour, to see if he will self-soothe - times when I know he's not hungry or in need of a diaper change. But this is apparently not yet a talent which my child posseses, and he yells as much after 30 minutes as when he started fussing.

It really doesn't bother me, listening to him wail - I know he's okay, and I don't think he's going to end up emotionally scarred (at least, not because of this). And I do feel sympathetic - I'm not a very happy person when I need to eat, either.

During all this yelling, I feel okay because I can hear him. I can tell that he's wailing the "I'm hungry!" wail, or the "you left me alone in bed!" wail, or the "I really need to be burped again!" wail. But when I'm in the shower, I can't hear anything besides the water, and so I can't tell how he's really doing. So I don't get many showers, except when Christopher is home.

But on monday, he was out cold, so I thought, 'what the heck, take a chance!'. I soaped thoroughly, washed and conditioned my hair, and shaved my legs. Then I washed everything again, just because I could. It was totally luxurious. And then I just stood under the water for a little bit, because I could, until I started to feel anxious that Leon might have woken up, and if he had, I couldn't hear him.

So don't take your showers for granted, my friends. They are a priveledge you don't appreciate until you find yourself sitting in a tub, trying to soap up quickly, while a fussy baby wails on the bathroom floor, kicking off his duck towel, because he wants to swim, not wait for you to finish getting clean.

And you can also forget moisturizing in peace.

Last weekend, however, I did manage to put on makeup while holding Leon. I was wearing a great new shirt, I looked really good when I was done, and I was really happy because we were going to a party. And then Leon spit up all over both of us.